I think I just saved two Jehova’s Witnesses…

So there was just a knock at the door and the folks outside were asking, first in Russian and then in English, if there was anyone in the building who speaks Russian. I was like, eh no, but I speak English, can I help you? I’m thinking there is some sort of emergency because you don’t knock on peoples’ doors on Shabbat. The girl was born and bred in the U.S. and so she did (and neither know a word of Hebrew). Yeah, they thought it would be a good idea to approach people on a Saturday to spread the gospel because this is when people have time…

About two seconds into the conversation a little light bulb went off and I was like, are you Jehova’s Witnesses? Yeah they were. Really clueless Jehova’s Witnesses. I was like, first if you are going to go wandering about in this area put some more clothes on. Pretend you are in something resembling Saudi Arabia. Don’t get me wrong, she was demurely dressed U.S.A. style but this is Bnei Brak.

Second, if you go about one block east of where you are now and start knocking on people’s doors today (not to mention the message you wanna spread), you might get stoned, tarred and feathered, but at least run out of town on a rail. Not exaggerating here.

I was like look, you see the lights in the hallway on? It isn’t dark, they are on because on Shabbat you can’t turn lights on and off. You can’t cook. You can’t shower. You can’t carry things. (She wanted to know if people just leave their doors unlocked then and I was like, no locking your door is one of the few things you can do). I suggested they try Petakh Tikva or Netanya and she was like, ‘well we go everywhere.’ I was like, well go one more block thataway at your own peril. Some of the kids came up the stairs, back from shul, and after taking a gander at them, I think they finally took me seriously.


9 responses to “I think I just saved two Jehova’s Witnesses…”

  1. Lynne says :

    The Jehovah’s Witnesses that I have met as they visit in neighborhoods as these women were doing, have been nice and well-meaning. It is part of their religion to spread the word of their religion, and those I have encountered seem sincere and are respectful to others. I think that they get a fair amount of abuse though, because people do not usually like to be interrupted—and they have their own religious views. Good thing that you gave them some information about the neighborhoods that they wanted to visit…

  2. erin says :

    Too funny. I’d say you met your mitzvah quota today. Ha!

  3. israeliminx says :

    They seemed quite nice (it was a guy who spoke only Russian, and the girl) and didn’t try to convert me because, as they said, their focus was on Russian speaking folks today and they didn’t have any literature on them in English and the girl seemed a little at a loss without being able to refer to her pamphlets. I always feel sorry for J.H.s and Mormons because yeah they get a fair amount of abuse when they come knocking. On the other hand, I remember my Ema herding us to hide in the hallway to pretend we weren’t home after she was really nice and considerate to some Jehova’s Witnesses one day and then they kept coming back and back and back…!

  4. Tiger Mike says :

    In my area it isn’t unusual for Evangelical Christians to come to the door and offer to pray with you. I don’t mind. Even when its on a Saturday (which it usually is). They are polite and sincere. They mean well. I point to the Mezuza on my doorway and ask if they know what it is. I’ve actually had some good conversations with people after that.

    And some people came by when my son was in the Army asking to pray for him.

    We have the occasional Morman and JW, too. As an American, I think its OK for them to do that. But in Israel i’d probably tell them that some one is likely to hit them in the head with a brick if they try that in the wrong place. If you have to evanglise, do it on the beach in Tel Aviv. Your less likely to be murdered there.

    • israeliminx says :

      Tiger Mike –no one has EVER been murdered here for evangelisizing. Probably spit on and definitely treated rudely, but that is no different in certain areas than less religiously observant Jews are treated. Respect goes both ways — if you want to spread ‘the word’ don’t do it on a day in an area where if on Saturday morning your mother has been taken off to the hospital you won’t know about it until the evening because you won’t answer the phone or read the cell phone messages telling you of the emergency until the holy day is over.

      • Lynne says :

        I agree with Tiger Mike’s comment that these people are well-meaning and generally quite nice, and they obviously have no idea about others’ specific religious ideas and would not want to cause offense. I do not think that they lack respect at all; it’s just a lack of knowing.
        And, it would be well for anyone that they approach under any circumstances to remember that we cannot control the actions of others, but we can control ourselves and our own response. A kind response is always appropriate. It’s good that you gave them information, because they obviously did not know.

  5. Mike says :

    A couple years ago an older lady came by our house talking about whatever church she was a member of. At some point she asked about our Mezuza and my wife explained that we were Jewish.

    The woman said she hadn’t heard of that religion (there aren’t a lot of Jews where we live, obviously) and asked for more information. My wife explained that the “Old Testament” was Jewish scripture but that for Jews, Jesus wasn’t the “Messiah.”

    This evidently confused the woman who responded she hadn’t heard that about Jesus, but that it might be true. She said she planned to do more research. I thought the whole thing was pretty funny once I heard about it. If Jews ever start knocking on doors, my wife might become a star.

  6. israeliminx says :

    Mike lol that is too funny! Hee hee, we can set her up with her own TV show.

  7. israeliminx says :

    Tiger Mike.

    I must apologize. I was really tired when I read your comment and didn’t catch that you were being tongue in cheek!

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