I’d be lying if I said that baby hopes didn’t suddenly re-emerge
I’m 99.9% certain that events in the last less than 24 hours do not spell a renewed chance that I may be able to have a baby but somehow that remote less than 1% chance is exploding my world. I’m scheduled for blood tests every morning this week starting tomorrow and meeting with my fertility specialist next Monday.
I’ve been through surgeries, the ‘turkey baster’ approach, years of regular IVF, miscarriages, and the experimental series before suddenly slamming into premature menopause. I’m in uncharted territory. My doctors really don’t have a clue and I’ve even less of one but that is the price you pay when you volunteer as a test subject. I am far from slamming the experimental trial or the scientific method. I went in with eyes opened much wider than most and would sign up again in a heartbeat.
I fell into a small percent of a small percent but last night fell out of an even smaller percent. Feeling like I’ve been kicked two sides of Sunday and double that on Monday has never felt so good. The odds are more than against me but to have odds at all, that feels like nothing short of a miracle.