Riding the stress roller-coaster
My family’s motto has always been “It will all work out because we will, somehow, someway, make it work out.” This is our personal equivalent to the Israeli mantra of “Yiheyeh b’seder” (it will be ok). I think ours is a bit more accurate because it indicates that it is not going to just somehow miraculously be ok (most of the time) but rather that a hell of a lot of effort and moving of mountains may be required before it is actually ‘ok.’ You can’t just sit back and expect it to all be ok.
This week has so far been managing to scramble atop one peak, giving a brief ‘hurrah’ just before reaching the crest and knowing you will reach it, taking a breath of relief at the top… and then seeing an even taller peak just ahead. Rinse and repeat. And it ain’t over…I’m just about halfway up another three peaks and worried about an avalanche (or two or three or ten).
The biggest, most important, huge peak crossed with great relief, is the results of my Ema’s tests this week. It isn’t an exactly rosy picture (not until there is a cure) but it is awesome, nonetheless. When I made the decision that I needed to move here, we all really thought that we were really talking about 6 months, if we were that fortunate, and a year if HaShem was generous. The treatment she was undergoing at the time nearly killed her and more than once. We are now almost exactly two years on from when I left home, and her results show she is now in just about as much of a remission as you can get with a disease that isn’t curable. Not curable yet, at least… There are some worry spots. We’ve got a game plan though. We are, every minute, of every hour, of every day, blessed and I’m tfu tfu’ing that we will continue to be so for a very long time to come.
The other peaks and valleys are so small, in comparison. I’m climbing them, though, and looking for alternate routes to the top if the way just ahead turns out to be blocked.